Fun

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.

The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.

The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?

Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”

The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here – you’re no miner!”

On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.

The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?

Santa says, “Oh sure.”

The boss asks how deep underground he worked.

Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. ”

The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? ”

Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”

================================================================== 

Heights of Testing >>>>>

 

Bug logging in Myuhc project.  – 
How Harry D’Mello (QA Tester) frustrates developer (Mukesh )
 
Harry D’Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in user name text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn’t appear.
Mukesh: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.
 
After 2 days,
Mukesh : Harry, bug is fixed. Please verify.
 
After another 2 days,
Harry  D’Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry is not getting the sound.
 
After another 2 days,
Mukesh : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry’s machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.
 
Another 2 days,
Harry  D’Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is different across different machines. Sound is coming as ‘BEEP’ in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as ‘TONG’.
Mukesh: Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do you expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them uniform? Please close it.
 
Another 2 days,
Harry  D’Mello:  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend’s machine produces sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines.
 
Another 2 days later,
Mukesh:   Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both the machines before I get mad and then close the bug.
 
Another 2 days,
Harry D’Mello:  I have re-opened the bug.
Mukesh:   What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening?
Harry D’Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.
 
After 2 days,
Mukesh: I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.
 
After 1 year
Harry D’Mello:  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested the clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.
Mukesh: GROWLLLL…..I am really mad now. I am sure that the sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.
Harry D’Mello:   No need for that. We will put the machines and run them in vacuum and see.
Mukesh: (not alive)

 

Enjoy Testing 🙂

Regards,
Vijay Modi 

 

=====================================================================

 

Its called business:

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son: “Well, in that case…ok”
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude
should be positive
 

============================================================= 

 

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?

A. Terms are different … nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?

A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?

A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have

3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which

methodology will follow ?

A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?

A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?

A. Non living things can’t communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?

A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?

A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?

A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?

A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for

process.

Q. When is update method called ?

A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?

A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?

A. A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?

A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?

A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep ot.

Q. What is serialization ?

A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?

A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?

A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?

A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast.

🙂

Regards

Vijay Modi

14 Responses to Fun

  1. Rathin Pandya says:

    hi

  2. Vijay Modi says:

    Rathin,
    What happens. Let me know if you have any query regarding .net

  3. harish says:

    Good Yaar
    Thanks

  4. naziboy says:

    good once

    lol lol lolxxx death

  5. jitendra says:

    v good dear friend

  6. Jimedar says:

    .net sucks. If you want to know I can explain….

  7. mrugeshmodi says:

    U have great sense of humor..
    i am trying to learn about html, C++, .net, PHP, etc. from your blog.
    I am interested in SEO.
    Take care

  8. Proud_Paki says:

    Hi do you get pirated software in india just like Pakistan ? Hmmmm ???

    Regards,

    Proud_Paki

    • Vijay Modi says:

      I am a software engineer. Currently I am working on Network and wherever I know Software Engineer visiting different conuntry’s websites without thinking about their relation with other country. Same I am simple common man and all country’s person are good for me. You are too buddy. Enjoy learning and enjoy without thinking about various political issues. We all are one and leaving on Earth.
      Regards,
      Vijay Modi

  9. Lorenzo Lowrince says:

    If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then I guess programming is the process of adding it in!

    Any opinions guys!? lol

  10. sandeep says:

    nice blog

  11. Hi Vijay,
    Goog Effort……….
    Good Going Boss……..
    I really appreciate this kind of good work.

    Thanks and Regards
    Akshay Kumar Vishnoi
    Sr. Software Engineer (PHP)

  12. Suprayogi says:

    Hahaha, nice joke!

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